Who's Got Talent?

i've forgotten how much i love performing.

last night was the "Who's Got Talent?" Show at Cy-Fair. I was in it, playing piano and singing. I was EXTREMELY nervous before hand, but like always, once I was put in the spotlight, all nervousness vanished. I love performing. So so so so much. It really makes me miss all of the things I used to do that would put me on a stage. Piano lessons and dance recitals, mostly. I love just getting up and being the center of attention for just that one moment and not have to worry about feeling conceited. I just get up and do my best. And afterwards, everyone's always so encouraging. Man, I miss it so much.

Most of my friends at school don't read this blog, but if you happen to read it today, thanks so much for coming to the talent show if you came! And thanks for the billions of hugs from everybody!

After I performed, I went into the audience during intermission and all of my band friends were sitting by the door and they saw me and ALL of them got up and came and gave me a hug and told me how good I was. Which was extremely encouraging because that was teh first time most people at school had ever heard me sing. I received a lot of comments that were along the lines of "OH MY GOSH I had NO IDEA you had a voice like that!" and "Since when do you sing?!?!" etc. It made me feel really good about myself. And it doesn't even matter that I didn't even place, because I did my best and everybody loved me. Apparently I had a huge "fan base" there. hahaha.

I love my friends.

i don't know what's harder. going two months without seeing jon, or seeing jon everyday for a month and having him leave again.

long distance relationships suck.

bahahahahahah. so i had to work tonight. and i am required to park at the 24 hour fitness across the street to allow more parking spaces for customers. so i'm driving into the parking lot and it is totally PACKED. there were absolutely NO parking spaces. luckily, someone was pulling out as i was pulling in and i snagged a spot where i usually park. i was extremely confused why there were so many cars there. and then i went to work at 5:40. i left early and clocked out at 6:40 because there was absolutely NOBODY at chick-fil-a. i saw a total of three children there and by 6:30 two of them had left and the other was playing in the play place. so i had the option of going home and working on more scholarships (i've been really motivated for scholarships. i'll get to that in a second as soon as i'm done ranting about this) or dancing by myself in a cow costume for an hour and a half longer. i chose the former. so i'm walking across the street to go to my car and leave and the parking lot is STILL packed. and all of the sudden, i realize why. new years' resolutions. everyone wants to get in shape. and i started laughing out loud. i'm making a little bet with myself to see how long it takes for all the hype about staying fit dies down and i can finally find a parking space easily again.

on a different note, SCHOLARSHIPS! i've really been on fire today about scholarships, and hopefully this lasts a while. because last night, as i was laying in bed ATTEMPTING to sleep, i got extremely stressed out. i was just breaking down because i was so uncertain about everything. if i don't get enough scholarship money to go to OU, i'm going to have to go to community college or LSU. and i definitely don't want to do that. i mean, my parents would pay and get loans and stuff so i COULD go where i wanted, but i wouldn't ask that of them. not just so i can become a teacher. and i don't want to come out of college with a bunch of debt. so i was freaking out. and i was just praying and praying about it. and somehow i fell asleep. and so this morning during first period i went to the counselors to give them a counselor report thing for this one scholarship that is due this friday. then during third period, the counselor called me in to ask me a question about the thing, and we talked and she's really nice (she's rooting for the Gators to win the football game on thursday, though. so she's automatically knocked down a few spots on my lists. haha just kidding) and she gave me a few other schloarships to apply for. and one of them is due on wednesday and hopefully not many people will apply for it. and this other one i'm not sure about, but i'll try it anyways. what the heck right? so hopefully i'll just keep finding scholarships to apply for and be diligent about it so i can get some money for college. i can't think of anywhere else i'd rather be than the University of Oklahoma.

oh and since i talked about new years resolutions, here is my list of ongoing goals that i have had for the past about 7 months and i'm just kind of... renewing them and making them a little bit more challenging.

1. i will read my Bible or do some sort of Bible study every day. (i know i will fail at this because i'm human. but it's always a good goal to have!)
2. i will not drink soda for the rest of the year. 2009 will be soda free (over teh summer i decided to go on a soda fast and i just continued it into the school year. but i've been breaking it quite a bit lately and i can definitely tell the effects it's having on me)
3. i will not eat any food after 9:00 pm (once again, something i started at the beginning of the school year and i haven't been very diligent about it lately)
4. i will work on scholarships at least every other day (this one is new)
5. i will not stress out about things that don't matter and i will put complete trust in the Lord and just wait for things to work out in His timing. i will also try my best not to be negative. (i will also fail at this because i'm human and that is my tendency. but i've been making a conscious effort to not be like that and i've been having trouble with that lately)

so there you go. try to keep me accountable, if you will. :)

i'm not a fan of just writing about what i've been doing unless it's something really exciting like my little college road trip, but I guess that's what i'll do..

this break has been WONDERFUL. very unproductive, but absolutely wonderful. I have been so blessed. my family has been acting so civil towards eachother; i thought that was impossible! and i've been able to see jon practically EVERY DAY. that still blows my mind. i'm so used to seeing him for maybe three days at the most, then having to return to our separate states. but for the past three weeks i have been able to see him for at least a few hours or so everyday (minus two). it's so amazing. i miss him so much. but now he's off to miami to play in the drumline for the national championship game. and i'm still stuck here in houston. and he won't be back until a week from today. but when you've gone seven weeks without seeing each other, a week really isn't so bad. pardon my "French," but long distance relationships suck terribly. i advise to avoid it unless you know your relationship has a really firm base and communicating isn't a big issue. although, it seems lately jon and i have more trouble communicating while he's in town than while we're 417 miles away, and that's mostly my fault. but anyways, i'll wrap up this jon rambling. haha. 

the wonderful and talented katie and chris stockwell took my senior photos and they're AMAZING! i absolutely LOVE them. you can look at them on my facebook, but i'll put my favorites on here. jon and my mom also came with us, and it was so much fun. jon was a little bored and probably annoyed that i required him to wake up at 7:15am to do this, but it's okay. he was in some of the pictures and i LOVE them. the "kiss" pictures were awkawrd to do though; i couldn't stop laughing. it was just SO awkward! me and jon aren't into PDA very much, and when katie asked us to kiss for a picture in front of my mom, i just couldn't handle it. i busted out laughing every time we tried. it was funny. but for the most part, it was a great experience and i am so thankful for the stockwells. 

also, i don't know if i ever posted this, but i'm sure everyone knows. i am the cow mascot at chick-fil-a. it was a lot of fun at first. and i mean, it's still fun. it's just becoming more and more of a chore. don't get me wrong, i'm really glad i get paid so much to just run around the store and act goofy with kids. but i only work a few hours each day. i need a job that i can get more hours! but i'll probably wait until summer to do that, since i have to balance band and school AND a job. at least band doesn't interfere with this job. i'm jsut kind of getting tired of it. also, i need to keep this job for at least a few months. my only other job was just a summer job at All About Music, and if all of my jobs only last a few months, that'll look bad. so i'll at least keep this one until may. maybe this summer i'll just rock two jobs, because apparently the cows sometimes go to astros games and such! that would be fun. 

anyways, i have to jet. but that's basically what my Christmas break has been so far. 

maybe i'll let everyone know what my "new years' resolutions" are in another post, although they aren't really new years' resolutions. they're just a list of things i decided to discipline myself on sometime last year, and i wish to continue them. hahaha.

peace out!