college!

so, i know i said i would post about the college trip later, but i'm thinking i won't. haha i'm too lazy. if you really want to know, just ask me :)

anyways i'll update ya'll on the college thing. so the only school i've actually applied to is OBU and i'm not really interested in going there. that was just out of boredom from the hurricane haha. same thing with Baylor. i'll probably finish the Baylor one this week though just so i'll have an in-state school in the midst of my options. so other than that, i still need to finish my application for LSU and OU and start the one for CU. there's just like a few things on the LSU/OU app that just stump me. like how can i diversify the university? I CAN'T!! i'm a white girl. nothing diverse about me. i wish i was more in tune with my italian heritage so i could be diverse. haha. so yeah i just have to figure that out and then i'm done with OU. and then LSU... i don't remember why i didn't finish. but oh well. but yeah. after visiting OU these past two weekends and comparing it to other colleges, it is definitely my first choice. like.. i'm only applying to CU because my mom REALLY wants to me to go to school in colorado. i'm not sure why, but she always has. hahah. but that means i have to write those stupid essays JUST for that application. gay. and i don't really want to go to LSU because it's dangerous. hahah. and because.. it just didn't really appeal to me as much as CU and OU did. but i'm still applying because i don't have to write essays and to see how much scholarship money they offer me. they basically already told me i would get a full-ride because i'm from texas. so we'll see if that happens. but yeah i'm going to go rory gilmore on you. here's a pro/con list so i can show you how awesome OU is.

UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO
PROS
the campus is absolutely beautiful. the elementary music education program is really really strong . i'm pretty much guaranteed a job in colorado as soon as i graduate.
CONS
it's known as a party school. tuition for out-of-state is WAY UBER expensive. like.. it hurts me to think of how much it would cost. one year of marching band is required. and i really don't like the bassoon teacher. at all. he scares me and i think he's prejudiced against people from texas. no lie. haha. and it's really far from home. a 16 hour drive. sigh. that's just too far. and boulder is an expensive city to live in.
Louisiana State University
PROS
no marching band required. only like a four hour drive i think? i could very possibly not have to pay for tuition.
CONS
HURRICANES! haha. i don't want to deal with those for a while. the dorm rooms pretty much suck. and i just can't really see myself living there.

UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA!!
PROS
i don't even know where to begin. the campus is SOOOO beautiful. and the town is just amazingly cute and old fashioned. the band is really good and the band directors are really nice and funny and like me. and the bassoon teacher is AMAZING. i could totally see myself being his student. he's so funny and unique and quite a talker. and he really really cares about his students and is really passionate about them. ANDDD i found out yesterday that i don't have to do marching band!!! which is really very exciting. and i was talking to the bassoon teacher and he basically told me that he would make sure that i get scholarship money. they love me there. and i love it there too! i can definitely see myself going there. like.. no other school compares. i can't even think of any CONS. sigh. i really hope it works out that i go there. although, i'm trying to not to make up my mind right now. because things and plans change. or rather, my plans don't always match up with God's exactly.


so yeah. that's where i stand on college. i'm so ready to be out of high school. you have no idea. i'm so tired of it.

i'll post about the rest of my trip soon, i promise. i was going to do it yesterday, but i was too tired and had too much to do. and right now i'm not really feeling it. but just to give you few cats who actually look at this something to read, i will briefly explained what went down today. in fragments rather than sentences. because i'm in that kind of mood.

last night checked online grades. 68 on calculus test. freak out because studied really hard for it and felt like i really knew the stuff. but that's life. self-esteem down.

regardless, woke up in very good mood because i saw jon yesterday.

got to school very very early for me.

teacher's assistant played with sparkly material with alexa. fun.

gov't started freaking out because test next tuesday. no time to study. gone all weekend and monday. crap. self esteem down.

english got transcript. GPA down, but rank up! no longer #35, but #32. have to work hard to keep GPA up to stay in summa cum laude. self esteem up.

band=gay. hate band. hate hate hate hate. fhgdsafgdsa

calculus really upset about test grade. turns out it was a mistake. grades entered into gradebook wrong. actually got a 96! self-esteem shot up. a lot.

lunch good mood left over from calculus.

PALs forgot song lyrics. doing song tomorrow. nervous. emotions were up and down throughout class.

computer science turns out teacher is martial arts instructor. knew he wasn't really a comp sci teacher. hate class. no idea what to do.

PALS student advisory board meeting. lots of fun. get to hang out with kelly condon and curtis gurka! i'm secretary! self-esteem way up. love PALs

marching band rehearsal. practiced bassoon for an hour. haven't practiced in two weeks. i suck. go outside to play show music for band and rehearse with them. first thing veenstra tells me after i start playing my solo "you really don't sound good at all." really really really really hurt me. all self-esteem and confidence gone. at least in regards to music. double reed section really sucks. neville doesn't pay attention. frustrating. hopefully gets better. wanted to cry the whole time. i hate band. faghdgsafjhldsgafhjdsgfahjldsgafjhdsgfajhlgdf

on a different note, i'm learning more and more to trust God. it's so hard. i want to know exactly what's going to happen in my future. and i've started stressing out about it. but i'm also learning how to just let it go and let God take care of it and it eases a lot of the worry.

Baylor & USAFA

we left yesterday (wednesday) afternoon and set on our adventure to colorado! we weren't planning on stopping at Baylor, but we ended up going through Waco, so we decided to go ahead. And i'm glad we did. before i saw the campus, i didn't think i would like it that much. i think it was just the idea of a private school. but we got there and looked around, and it is definitely a campus i can see myself living at. it's so incredibly pretty. i'm not sure how good the music program is, but cheryl (my lesson teacher) keeps asking me what i think of Baylor, so maybe that's because there's a good bassoon teacher? i don't know, i'll have to talk to her about it at my next lesson.the only problem with baylor, though, is the tuition. i am definitely not going to be able to pay for it. so it's not at the top of my list. but yeah. so we looked at baylor for about two hours with Rachel Lieber, who attends the school, and then we were on our way. we stopped for the night a few hours from amarillo and got this really cheap motel room. we definitely got what we paid for. haha. it had dead light bugs on the floor. and only had a bed and shower. but it's cool. we only needed to sleep, anyways. and then this morning we left around 8:30 and drove the rest of the way to colorado. we cut through the corner of new mexico, so that was really cool. i'd never been to new mexico. anyways, we got to colorado springs around 4ish? and met up with Daniel at the Unites States Air Force Academy. now, just to clear up any confusion this may cause, I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN THE AIR FORCE! haha. i would not last one freaking second. but since we were going to be incolorado, i knew daniel would appreciate a visit since he hasn't left the base/campus in three months so he hasn't seen anybody. it's really pretty there. definitely a lack of oxygen, but surrounded by beautiful mountains. and ironically, the song that came on my "gaypod" when we driving around the perimeter of the base was "Lead of Love." molly will appreciate that. hha. anyways. daniel showed us around. it was so cool getting to see him again and having him tell us everything about the campus. he totally loves it there, and it's totally evident in the way he talks about it. like.. when he would tell us the "traditions" and stuff, it made me excited. i mean, the traditions are totally intense and things you would expect at a military base, but he looks at it not as intense nasty things. but just something that has to be done. and he can't see himself being anywhere else. which is what i'm hoping i will be able to experience wherever i end up going to college. so after he showed us around, me and mom left and drove to boulder. and we got extremely lucky with finding a hotel. the CU vs WVU football game was tonight. and we ended up getting a room at a hotel fairly close to the campus for somewhat cheap compared to other hotel rates here. we got the last room :) so tomorrow we're going to go look at CU and then maybe drive up to fort collins and look at CSU. then drive out to shawnee, oklahoma and see marie! i will post more later!

you can go here for more Baylor pictures

or here for USAFA pictures

Surprises

i never realized how great a guy my dad is. like, i give him such a hard time because he's not the christian father I always wished I had. but really, he is a wonderful person deep down inside. i mostly noticed this today when he was talking about how ridiculous one of his employees is being. and i saw how much he cares about other people and about our family and stuff. my dad provided a generator, wood to board up windows, water, and everything to prepare for this hurricane for his employees. he GAVE it to them so they could keep their families safe. he's still paying his employees for fourty hours this week, even though there's no work to be done and money with the business is extremely tight. he cares about them like they're his own family. and they just don't appreciate it. i can only hope i'll be as lucky as they are when i get a full-time job.

AND, the only reason he puts up with all the crap he gets from his employees is so the job can get done quickly and efficiently so he can be able to pay for us, his real family. he goes through every means necessary to be able to provide us with a home, food, light, comfort, everything. he pretty much gives us everything we want and need. and we don't appreciate him enough.

i may say some horrible stuff about my dad, but don't let that fool you into thinking he's a horrible guy. i'm just a selfish, immature, ignorant young girl. i love my dad. he's wonderful.

on another note, i'm leaving tomorrow morning. me and my mother are going on a very last minute road trip. as of right now, our plans are looking somewhat like this:

wednesday: leave in the morning to drive to colorado. get there sometime wednesday night.

thursday: tin the morning take a tour at University of Colorado at Boulder. finish by the afternoon and drive to colorado springs to visit Daniel Barina at the United States Air Force Academy and have him show us around. (I have no intention at all to go there. but i figured daniel would enjoy the company) then when that is done, drive up to Fort Collins and stay the night.

friday: morning tour at Colorado State University. I don't want to go there, but mom wants to visit. and while we're in colorado, we might as well. finish that by afternoon. this is where the plans get iffy. but we'll just assume we won't be able to stay with a friend this night. so after the tour we drive over to oklahoma and geta hotel for the night.

saturday: i will be in shawnee and spending as much time as possible with Marie Evans. I might get an official tour of the campus if it's available. but yeah.

sunday: if jon's back in norman by then, we'll probably stop in norman to say hey and spend a few hours with him. but if that doesn't happen, i'll be okay because i'll be able to see him in a week and a half!!! and then we'll head home!

i'm so excited. i will take TONS of pictures and upload them all to facebook. you'll feel like you were there :)

updates about colleges i'm applying to:

OU

LSU

Baylor

OBU

(maybe) CU

i really probably won't go to CU because it's too far away. i can handle oklahoma and louisiana. colorado is like a 16 hour drive though. :(

and on ANOTHER note, i found my "homecoming" dress today. simple black dress for 16 bucks that i can pretty much to whatever. formal, casual, that ambiguous thing called "semi-formal" it works for all. i can't wait to wear it on my date with jon :) AND i saw matt mitchell at the mall. we were both waiting in line for taco bell. so we talked up a storm. seriously, i've never talked to him so much in my life. it was exciting. he's really cool. and i hung out with alexa and amanda (we went shopping together) they're really cool too. it was nice seeing friends again hahaha.

anyways this was an obnoxiously long post; i apologize. i will update about the colleges later!

i'm bringing my laptop with me so i can upload pictures/post about each college each day! yay!

So, out of sheer boredom, I have decided to apply to more colleges. I'm not really looking into these colleges seriously, but hey, I might as well, right? And I have nothing better to do in the next two days, so I might as well fill out some applications. I've almost finished my OU application (I just need my official GPA and class rank. DARN YOU, IKE!), my LSU application, and on a total whim, a Baylor application. Cheryl (my bassoon lesson teacher) constantly asks what I think of Baylor, and honestly, I don't really want to go there. But Molly made a good point, the application fee is waived if I apply on-line. AND I don't have to write an essay since I did the essay portion of the SAT. That's another thing I need to get on.. SAT/ACT. I've taken the SAT score once. And I was somewhat happy with my score of 1850... until I realized all of my friends got scores of AT LEAST 1950. So I need to register for that. And for the ACT. sigh. anyways. And I'm about to go look at the UNT application. I really really don't want to go there. But I need more colleges on my list since everytime someone asks where I'm looking I can really only tell them OU because I get a lot of crap about how "dangerous" LSU is. So I really don't want to go there now. But I'll still apply so I can get a good deal of money and use that to bargain with other schools I want to go to.

I say I'm ready for college, but I'm starting to wonder if I really am.

We Like Ike?

i'm not sure how i feel about this "Hurricane Ike"

while i'm excited about not having school and stuff, i'd rather be at school with my friends then stuck at home with my family for three days. my dad has already told me i'm not allowed to go ANYWHERE at all this weekend. so that means all five of us cooped up in this tiny little house fighting for 72 hours straight. woooonderful. at least i can play piano alot to escape. i'm going to print out alot of sheet music online so i can work on that alot. i just have to figure out what to print. i've started working on let it be by the beatles. it's pretty easy. and also, i'll probably finish jon's anniversary gift. i'm really excited about it. i can't wait to give it to him. AND i'll be able to practice bassoon (assuming that my cold will disappear by tomorrow. haha. it's REALLY hard to play bassoon when you're congested. gross.) and i guess i'll work on calculus homework and catch up on some Bible reading and clean my room and all that jazz. hopefully ike turns out like rita. but as of right now, it looks as if it's going to be the exact opposite of it. the news just said we'll be pretty much directly hit. gayyyy.

on a different note, i'm changing my PALs song. i was going to do super trooper and just kind of talk about sophomore year. but during PALs today i decided i wanted to do something more specific and use a song that would actually relate to a memory. so i'm going to do The Girl by City and Colour and talk about Jon and when we went on vacation and i knew that things were going to work out for me and him while he's at OU. and i will probably start crying while talking about it. but hey, what better way to connect with my class then crying, since i never cry in front of people.

i miss jon alot. and i'm really jealous of like marie and ian and kyle because they get to see him this weekend and i can't even go anywhere. i wish i could evacuate to oklahoma.

i can't wait to go to college. i am definitely NOT going to LSU. not after all this stupid hurricane crap. i never want to live somewhere that has to deal with this stuff ever again.

Update

My Eighteenth Birthday: 69 days

PROM: 232 days

Graduation: 268 days

"Homecoming": 16 days