Letters

Today I was reading an article (many of you do not know that I have a guilty pleasure type of obsession with shine.yahoo.com. In my spare time, I read articles about everything there is. It's how I keep up with life.) about a woman who has a child with Tourette's. This woman is actually one of the writers of the weekly love articles (I think), but she started talking about how more often than not, when women have their first child, the husbands get pushed aside. This isn't the point of my story though. She mentioned briefly that she has kept a journal of letters that she wrote to her child before he was born. Just letters about how she's going to love him no matter what he turns out to be and stuff like that. It inspired me.

I really enjoy writing letters to Jon and mailing them to him even though we only live a few minutes away now. I guess that's the hopeless romantic in me. I'm a sucker for old-fashioned things. Anyways, today I decided to write a letter to my future child (IMPORTANT NOTE: I am NOT pregnant. Nor will I be until I'm married. I don't want any drama/confusion/rumors spread haha). It felt really odd, but at the same time, I can just imagine him/her reading it when they're older. Or having his/her father read it to them when they're a few years old. Or if (hopefully not, though) something were to happen to me in child birth and early in their life, I want them to know that I looked forward to being their mom so much. I basically said in the letter that I'm 19 years old right now, and even though starting a family is quite a while away, I want them to know that I think about them a lot and look forward to my future with them and that I'll always love them no matter who they are, where they live, or how old they are (because they'll always be my baby). And I've decided I'm going to this quite a bit. I don't mean write a letter every day, but maybe once a year. And I was very careful not to say anything that could make them think that I was hoping for a girl for my first child (in case it's a boy), or anything about a father (since I don't know who that will be), or anything about how I hope their future will be (ex: I hope we'll be rich so I can give you everything you need and more.) because I don't want it to seem like I couldn't provide for them if the future didn't turn out that way. Mostly I just talked about how I want them to be happy and that's my goal in life. To provide my kids with what they need to be successful and happy to the best of my ability.

I know that might be weird, but I really hope it'll mean a lot to my future kid. I hope it's something they'll treasure forever.